As parents, one of the most important jobs we have is to prepare our kids to be the best humans possible.
As children develop, it’s vital that we encourage the character traits we want them to show to others — the most important being love.
Love encapsulates other traits such as patience, gentleness, kindness, empathy, and for this season: gratitude.
If you’re looking for a way to teach your kids about “giving thanks” this Thanksgiving season, consider daily lessons in gratitude.
Laying the groundwork for kids to model
Research tells us that kids model what they see.
So if you want your children to make gratitude a practice of their own, you need to make it your own priority.
Make it a point to comment on things that you’re grateful for — the big and the small.
Maybe it’s the sunshine peeking through after a few days of gray.
Or even the rain itself — helping plants to grow.
Good news from your blood test results? Be thankful out loud.
Wait until the kids are home so they can watch you write a “just because” thank you note to a friend.
Bake muffins together to say thanks to a neighbor who always puts up with your kids’ outdoor shenanigans.
It’s the little things in life that add up to make a big impact on kids.
Looking beyond themselves
A consistent pattern in children is to live a life that’s fairly selfish.
That sounds like:
“What about me?” “It’s not fair!” or a personal favorite, “He got more than me!”
In order to gently teach children about being grateful for what they have, it’s paramount that we look outside our own lives to others.
Usually we’re talking about being thankful for material things that are easy for children to grasp, like a home, consistent food on the table, or family members who are present in our lives.
But there are other, tougher concepts that we can explain in simple terms to help our children have empathy for others and showcase gratitude.
It’s important to note here that you discern what is right for your kid’s age and personality. Some who are empaths have a harder time wrapping their mind around the pain of others without absorbing it.
Health conditions. Pick a few that might hit close to home for your family. Mention those people that you know battling an illness or lifelong disease. Talk about what daily life looks like for them.
Stability. Volatile family situations affect children in their daily lives. Whether you discuss unstable housing in your community or foster care, pointing out theoretical situations can give kids a better understanding of how others around them might live.
While it might seem dark to point to pain as a lesson in gratitude, it’s possible to have the discussions with grace and wisdom.
Don’t go too hard with the language or length of the talk.
The goal here is to consistently look outside ourselves to see where we can help others in need.
The language of gratitude
Well-researched psychiatrist advice about teaching kids gratitude offers these questions to prompt your kids:
Notice – What do you have in your life to be grateful for? Are there things to be grateful for beyond the actual gifts someone has given you? Are you grateful for any people in your life?
Think – What do you think about this present? Do you think you should give something to the person who gave it to you? Do you think you earned the gift? Do you think the person gave you a gift because they thought they had to or because they wanted to?
Feel – Does it make you feel happy to get this gift? What does it feel like inside? What about this gift makes you feel happy?
Do – Is there a way to show how you feel about this gift? Does the feeling you have about this gift make you want to share this feeling by giving to someone else?
Whether your family participates in food drives, a gratitude tree or random acts of kindness this Thanksgiving season, it all matters.
Keep pointing your kids toward what is good. Gratitude is a valuable piece of that puzzle.